3 Things I Learned Taking Salsa Dance Lessons
Spoiler: How to Salsa Dance is not one of them
One thing that did not come naturally to me was dancing. Of any kind.
Not only that, but this lack of ability infamously labeled me as having no rhythm, as having 2 left feet, as being a vessel of amusement for my social group when my attempts at movement paired with music were made.
This ultimately rendered a night out or dancing less than enjoyable for me. I got in my head. I felt nervous. Every stranger in there minding their own business were actually minding mine and my disfigured bodily movements that more closely matched that of a flopping fish.
The Solution
A local bar hosted free salsa dance lessons every week. I found this was the perfect opportunity to prove my friends and my prior limiting beliefs wrong!
How many of you in here are professional dancers? None? Good.
The first sigh of relief. I had walked into the right class. That is how the teacher starts off every class. By reminding us all that it’s okay to mess up. It was the first of many reminders to get out of my head and just have fun!
Many sessions later I still step on my dance partner’s toes, I still dance off beat, and I still flop like a fish, but it’s done with the grace and confidence of someone who doesn’t worry about that stuff or what others are saying!
After many sessions and many more to come here are the top 3 things I have learned in my nights of practice.
1. Do Things That Make You Feel Uncomfortable
In the beginning I would always feel a bit of resistance when it was time for me to head to my weekly lesson. A bar full of strangers and I’m forcing myself to dance with them. No alcohol to numb the pain, I was going all in.
We have a tendency to automatically avoid that which makes us feel fearful, anxious, worried, or any similar negative feeling. Often times it seems we encourage the avoidance of these feelings. We self-diagnose ourselves with pseudo psychological disorders instead of just facing it head on. We are inclined to gravitate towards comfort and safety, yet it has been shown time and time again…
It is those who seek discomfort that most often get what they truly want in life.
Now I have no plans of becoming a salsa dance maestro. But I did commit to developing a part of me that was extremely fearful and lacking.
Through repetition and focusing on getting myself IN the moment and OUT of my head the massive anxiety of the situation would slowly shrink down until I barely noticed its existence.
I would not have been able to do this if I hadn't shown up. If I hadn't sought out that which was uncomfortable to me and overcoming my own fabricated barriers. Which leads to the next point…
2. You Have to Make Things a Priority
Nobody was forcing me to go to class every week. This was actually taking time out of my day that I could have spent doing other activities. Yet I chose to make every Thursday night an obligatory meeting between me and my fears.
When you have no obligation to go, and no real stake in the game, it’s easy to blow it off. I could easily justify and come up with an excuse as to why I didn't need to go one week — I’m tired, it’s been a long week, I have to feed the cat. This is simply clutter. One week becomes two and three in a row
This is self-sabotage at its finest, reducing you back down to your most comfortable state so you won't go out there in life and experience everything it has to offer you.
The lesson learned here is simple — you have to make time for the things that are important to you. No matter how big or how small, if it’s not a priority you will find other things to replace it.
3. Lead with Confidence
You’re going to mess up in life. You’re going to get knocked down and you’re going to maybe even be laughed at. I did not let this stop me from going out there, practicing my moves with a partner and just winging it.
I found very quickly the best way to learn salsa was to get out on the dance floor with a partner and move!
I found that the most interesting thing was, although my dance skills have only marginally improved, my selection of partners has dramatically increased! The more fun I had, the more they wanted to join me. It didn't matter that I wasn't full of smooth moves. It was simply that my energy was that of who cares let's have fun.
Leading with confidence is very similar. This is not arrogance. Arrogance is seeing yourself above people. Confidence just means operating and moving in a way which is unperturbed by the many vibrations of life. You are setting your OWN pace. Setting your OWN course in life. Living your OWN mission.
Own your life in the same way I’ve chosen to own my poor dancing abilities. Get out of your head and in the moment. Make the things that matter a priority and see where life takes you. Maybe one day I’ll see you on the dance floor too.
- Scotty
